My love language? (get off of me!)
Its weird what happens when a part of your life suddenly changes without your control. I’ve noticed recently that my live language, this is- the way I understand that people truly appreciate and/orlove me, is quality time. If you plan to spend time with me (especiallywithout my knowing in advance) then I will know deep down that you care about me. It’s when I don’t see you for a period of time thati start to think that our relationship has changed and youmust not care about me or love me anymore.
This was a tough thing to come to grips with because of how much sense it makes. I’ve gotten so hurt by people in the past simply because they couldn’t spend time with me. It has ruined relationships in the past, simply because we see things differently.
See, for me, if I care about you or love you, I seek out continually (even in a subconscious way) time to spend with you. Whether it’s me saying “hey – what are you up to?” over texts all the time, or it’s me going places hopingto find you so we can spend a few minutes of free time together… It’s by spending time with you that I find worth in myself and in our friendship.
Looking back on all the years that i’ve done this without thi king about it… My own actions start to make sense. How I feel so incredibly hurt as a person when I am either forgotten, ditched or intentionally un-invited or unwanted somewhere. I mean… I feel aweful. Where other people just brush it off and forget about it, I get depressed and keep going over how much I suck over and over again in my head. It’s to the point where it can ruin days, or even weeks for me. Now that I know why I do this, hopefully Ill be better at dealing with this stuff.
Just some thoughts from me.